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Found: A 9,000-Year-Old Decapitation Victim

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(Photo: Strauss et al./PLOS ONE)

Back in July of 2007, researchers excavating human burials at the Brazilian site of Lapa do Santo found something strange—two amputated hands that had been laid across the face of a skull. One hand was pointing down, the other up. There were also "v-shaped cut marks" on the jaw and vertebrae. The team, publishing in PLOS ONE, now believes that this is "the oldest case of decapitation found in the New World."

People had lived in Lapa do Santo (now Brazil), starting about 12,000 year ago; this skull dates back about 9,000 years from the present. The people who lived in the area were likely "hunter-gathers with low mobility," the researchers report. They also think the decapitated person was a member of the local community—which means the beheading may have been a ritual decapitation, rather than an act of war.

In their paper, the researchers detail the evidence that this person, thought to be young man, had his head and arms intentionally removed from his body.  There are hack marks on one of the wrist bones that indicate it was removed with force from the arm. And, on the skull and neck bones, the researchers write, cut marks suggest the skull was subject to both "soft tissue removal and decapitation." ("It is possible that multiple forces were applied to the head to detach it from the neck," they write.)

All in all the evidence points to one conclusion: this is "a clear case of decapitation."

Archaeologists have wondered how far back and how widely people in the Americas practiced decapitation. Previous to this discovery, the oldest instance of decapitation ever found dated back to about 4,500 years ago. In South America, the record goes back ever less far: the oldest instance known is dated to 3,000 years ago. There's evidence that different groups of people practiced decapitation in Ecuador, Bolivia, Colombia and, in particular, Peru: before now, it was thought likely that the practice in South America began in the Andes. This find provides evidence that it went far further back and was spread far wider than previously thought. 

Every day, we highlight one newly lost or found object, curiosity or wonder. Discover something unusual or amazing? Tell us about it! Send your finds to sarah.laskow@atlasobscura.com. 


See the Bible in Real Life: Photos of Florida's Holy Land Theme Park

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article-imageThe Holy Land Experience in Orlando, Florida. (All Photos: Dan Cronin

Just four miles from Universal Studios in Orlando, Florida is the Holy Land Experience, a theme park that turns Biblical stories into elaborate performances. Describing itself as a “living Biblical museum and park,” this 15-acre theme park contains a collection of attractions all based on the Bible. For an adult admission fee of $50, you can visit a model Noah’s Ark, shop at the “Gold Frankincense and Myrrh” gift shop and sit in a 2,000-seat auditorium to see reenactments of the crucifixion. 

The Holy Land Experience is not without its controversies. It was founded by a Jewish-born convert to Christianity who is now a minister, and opened in 2001 amid protests that the actual purpose of the park was to convert Jews to Christianity. There was then a four-year legal battle surrounding the park's tax status. 

When photographer Dan Cronin first read about the Holy Land Experience, he knew he had to see it for himself. He traveled to Florida to photograph the park and visit the attractions and the stage shows. We spoke to Cronin about the Holy Land Experience, the tourists who visit, and what it was like to photograph cut-outs of Jesus. 

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How did you hear about the Holy Land Experience theme park in Florida, and how did you begin this project?

I actually read about it in the news then saw Bill Maher’s "Religulous" documentary. Ever since I had heard about it I wanted to go and see it for myself.

What surprised you the most about visiting the Holy Land Experience?

The thing that surprised me the most was the two-hour-long theatrical show all about the overarching story of Jesus’s life. The production value is almost Broadway-esque. They really spend a lot of time and money on the stage shows. The depictions of Satan and the crucifixion during the show were actually pretty gory and frightening, and there are tons of young kids in the audience. The other thing is they serve Chick-fil-A in the Mediterranean-themed restaurant–that was pretty funny and surprising.

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Why do you think people want to visit the Holy Land Experience? Did they seem to enjoy it?

There were a lot of tour buses and church groups when I was there. I think for the most part the park is there to serve and be attended by already faithful believers. I think people go because it helps re-enforce their beliefs. In a lot of ways it poorly replicates sites and relics that you could actually see in Jerusalem, but if you don't have the time, money or resources to make that journey you could just go there.

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The Holy Land park is in close proximity to both Universal Studios Florida and Walt Disney World. Do you think the park's aesthetic is influenced by this?

Yes, definitely. While not nearly the size or scope of those two parks I think there are a lot of similarities. It’s very kid and family oriented, there are multiple gift shops and snack stands. There are colorful plastic animals and cut-outs of Jesus that you can take pictures with all over the park and even in the parking lot. While the Holy Land Experience doesn’t have rides or classic amusement park-style games, it is very much geared towards giving young Christians an experience like they are somewhere special and fun like Disney World or Universal Studios.

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Can you tell us about the people that worked there? Did you speak with any of them, particular the actors who portray the Biblical characters?

All the workers have to wear costumes like they live in ancient times. So for example, the guy in the snack shack is wearing a full robe and head scarf, fully covered when it is 95 degrees out and humid. You could tell a lot of the actors and performers were really into the message of the park, but the general service industry folks were not as cheerful. I spoke with a few of the workers when they kindly reminded me that there was no commercial photography allowed at the park. There was a lot of that. I think the Trinity Broadcast Network, who owns the Holy Land Experience, is very protective of their image.

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The Miracle Sugar Substitute The FDA Won't Let You Have

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Miracle berry tablets. (Photo: Alexander Klink/WikiCommons)

If you have any kind of sweet tooth, the miracle berry really lives up to its name.

When you eat this West African fruit, or let a tablet of freeze-dried miracle berry dissolve on your tongue, sour things taste intensely sweet and delicious for as much as two hours. The more sour and acidic a food, the sweeter it tastes—straight lemon and lime juice are especially popular at "flavor-tripping" parties, where guests eat miracle berries and then cram everything in existence into their mouths—but even foods with a hint of tartness, like goat cheese, turn into desserts. The miracle comes from a protein called miraculin, which binds to the taste buds that recognize sweetness, making them easily activated by low-pH foods.

With that kind of natural sweetening power, miracle berries could be a bona fide miracle for people who have diabetes, or who just want to cut down on refined sugar, but who want to avoid nutritionally questionable man-made chemicals like aspartame. And indeed, in the 1960s biomedical student Robert Harvey developed just that product. It was to be a ground-breaking use of the berry, blockbuster all-natural additive. By 1974, Harvey's company, Miralin, was poised to make miracle berries the sugar substitute of America's dreams.

And yet today, instead of revolutionizing sugar-free products, the berries have been relegated to novelty status. The miracle berry has flirted with high cuisine; Chicago chef Homaro Cantu, who died unexpectedly earlier this year, incorporated the fruit into the menu at his coffeeshop Berrista. (If you can't make it to Chicago, and you missed the miracle berry tasting menu at Cantu's molecular gastronomy restaurant iNG, you can also buy his cookbook.) But most of the time, the fruit's highest aspiration is a sort of super-low-key gustatory Burning Man: people buy a ten-pack of tablets off Amazon, or have some frozen fruits shipped overnight from Florida, and spend a fun evening with friends flipping out over how good everything tastes. Not exactly the new margarine.

So what happened? How did miraculin go from game-changer to party trick? The answer is a shady tale of government obstructionism and maybe even a little corporate espionage.

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Preparations for a flavor-tripping party. (Photo: Jason Eppink/flickr)

In the early 1970s, everything was going Miralin's way. Harvey had intended to market his miraculin extract to diabetics, and the FDA was on board; an extensive toxicology study had shown that miracle berry concentrate had no negative effects on rats, even at massive doses. But Miralin had big investors lined up—aluminum foil giant Reynolds, Barclays bank, Prudential insurance—who wanted to see an even bigger reach. So Harvey and Miralin vice president Don Emery handed out miraculin-sweetened ice pops to Boston schoolchildren, and found that the kids liked them even better than similar ones made with sugar.

It seemed like miraculin had the potential to revolutionize not only sugar-free products, but the whole food industry. "If we had got beyond the diabetic market we could have been a multi-billion dollar company," Emery told the BBC in 2008. "We'd have displaced maybe millions of tons of sugar and lots of artificial sweeteners as well."

But not too long after the ice pop experiment, things got weird. Harvey says he was followed home from work by a car that was clearly tracking his movements. Another car reportedly drove back and forth in front of Miralin headquarters, taking pictures. Finally, Harvey and Emery say, there was the day that they came in to the office late in the evening and interrupted a burglary. The intruders ran away, but Harvey and Emery say the files were ransacked—and the FDA file was left conspicuously open on the floor. Nor was this an ordinary breaking and entering; none of the building's locks had been destroyed.

Shortly afterwards, just as Miralin's products were about to launch, the FDA abruptly announced that miraculin would be considered a food additive, requiring extensive—and expensive—testing for approval. Harvey had believed (and says he had been led to believe by the FDA) that the berry-derived protein would be classified "generally recognized as safe," as befits a fruit that's been eaten for centuries without incident. The change in status to "food additive" was financially devastating; even with its corporate backing, Miralin couldn't afford the testing necessary to wrangle FDA approval. The miracle berry sweetener was dead in the water.

According to Don Emery, the suspicious events and the FDA's about-face are clearly connected. "I honestly believe that we were done in by some industrial interest that did not want to see us survive because we were a threat. Somebody influenced somebody in the FDA to cause the regulatory action that was taken against us," he told the BBC. Miraculin-loving chef Homaro Cantu agreed, pointing out in the Huffington Post that Miralin's main competitor at the time was a company called GD Searle, which pushed its sweetener aspartame through FDA approval via potentially shady means. "The FDA commissioner that was inserted just long enough to label miracle berries as a food additive and push aspartame through regulation was accused of allegedly accepting corporate bribes," Cantu wrote. (The aspartame approval was widely criticized and later revoked; aspartame was re-approved in 1981.)

Conspiracy theorists, take note: GD Searle at the time was headed by none other than Donald Rumsfeld.

It's hard to know what really happened. The Sugar Association, the main sugar trade group, says it did not influence the FDA about miraculin. Harvey says he tried to obtain a copy of the FDA's files, but that it was heavily redacted and uninformative. The FDA told the Atlantic that "The FDA has not received further information on the safety of the use of this substance in food under either the GRAS program or a food additive petition," which translates to "¯\_(ツ)_/¯." At any rate, Miralin filed for bankruptcy. A company called BioResources International took up the gauntlet in 1999, but it did not manage to get its miraculin extract approved as a dietary supplement, and the company's website has not been updated since 2005.

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Miracle berries on the bush. (Photo: MiracleFruitFarm/WikiCommons)

Is there any hope for the miracle berry as an industry, beyond the one guy who's reportedly charged $15 a head for flavor-tripping parties? Without FDA backing, it probably won't go any bigger than the independent farms that sell berries in bulk. It's legal to buy whole berries, or powdered ones, and to sell them in your restaurant or cafe, but you can't distribute miraculin-containing products in the U.S.

Before his death, Homaro Cantu, the miraculin-loving chef, was working with indoor miracle berry farms that he said could make miraculin cheaper and more energy-efficient than sugar. He hoped to partner up with major producers of sweets and soda, forming an alliance that even the FDA wouldn't deny. It never happened, but that doesn't mean it never will.

In the meantime, even if miracle berries won't be revolutionizing the food industry anytime soon, they can still revolutionize your personal palate. You can get 300 dried or fresh ones for $1.20 each, or pay a little more per unit for a smaller shipment. A pack of 10 tablets will set you back about $15. You can even get your own plant for $30 (or a bigger one for $90) if you live in a warm, humid place. Put a little lemon juice in your coffee, as Cantu has suggested, pop a berry in your mouth, and contemplate how close this country came to kicking sugar for good.

Zzyzx, California, Or the Biggest Health Spa Scam In American History

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The last word in miracles. (Photo: Vezoy/WikiCommons CC BY-SA 3.0)

Of all the legendary hucksters, grifters, and con men throughout American history, there is perhaps none more brazen than Curtis Howe Springer. In 1969, the American Medical Association, not a group prone to wacky turns of phrase, dubbed Springer “King of the Quacks.” Springer’s entire life was a combination of wild lies, get-rich-quick schemes, and bizarre ploys.

But perhaps his crowning achievement is a town in California that still stands: Zzyzx, in the Mojave Desert.

Springer was born in 1896 in Birmingham, Alabama, which is one of the last objectively true facts about his early life we can confirm. He may or may not have served in World War I as a boxing instructor, may or may not have preached against the scourge of alcohol for William Jennings Bryan, may or may not have worked at a school in Florida and may or may not have attended college in Chicago. By the 1930s, Springer began touring the United States, with his base in Chicago, giving lectures.

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Would you trust this man? (Photo: Wikimedia Commons)

Springer usually gave himself whatever advanced degrees he felt sounded best at the time, from MD to Ph.D to ND. None seem to have been accurate, which is easily proven because the institutions that supposedly issued these degrees did not, for the most part, exist. He claimed to represent “The National Academy,” “Westlake West Virginia College,” and, perhaps best of all, “The Springer School of Humanism.” (Let’s take a moment and reflect on the cojones to not only  give yourself a false honorific but also to insist it was issued by a school that doesn’t exist that you have named after yourself.)

Starting in the mid-1930s, Springer began doing sort of vague Christian-ish speeches on radio. The first radio station at which he applied reported him to the American Medical Association for being a crazy liar. By 1936, the AMA had issued an entire paper debunking any possible claim Springer might have to any training or degrees of any sort. (The paper had the excellent title of “Nostrums and Quackery and Pseudo-Medicine.”) It doesn’t seem to have mattered much; Springer got a job at another radio station in Chicago, then moved to Pittsburgh, where his radio career took off.

His radio pronouncements were bonkers. Some Christian stuff, some political stuff (he liked FDR), and some shilling for his miracle cures, which almost exclusively took the form of beverages. A common refrain was that following his advice and imbibing his cures would make anyone “internally, externally, and eternally clean.” After a few initial failures, he eventually found a location to create a health spa to more thoroughly hawk his wares: an oasis/swamp in the Mojave Desert.

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Veranda of Zzyzx Mineral Springs and Health Spa. (Photo: Jitze Couperus/flickr)

Springer was at this point touting himself as “the last of the old-time medicine men,” which is not too far off, really. He filed a mining claim on 12,800 acres in the Mojave, which legally would give him the right to mine for whatever he wanted and to keep the proceeds, but which did not give him ownership of the land. Weird U.S., a publication tracking the strangest stories throughout the country, has written extensively about Springer, and makes it clear that at no point did he entertained the idea of actually mining anything.

Zzyzx was founded around a natural spring, historically known as Soda Springs. It is a very cool-looking place, an oasis in the desert surrounded by palm trees, and is currently patrolled by the National Park Service, as it borders federally protected Mojave. Springer named it Zzyzx (which rhymes with “Isaacs”) to be “the last word” in health, alphabetically.

And that’s where the miracles come in. Soda Springs was not a hot spring; there are plenty of those in California’s desert, but not this one. So Springer installed a bunch of heating pumps to fake it. At Zzyzx, Springer built a hotel, which was very cheap, but which served as a base to sell most of the 27 different miracle health cures he claimed to create during his life. These included:

Antideluvian Tea: A mixture of various barks and herbs, described as a “laxative in a tea bag.” It shows up on eBay every now and then; the cover art is nice.

Re-Hib: An antacid found to be mostly baking soda, which, weirdly, probably would have worked, though certainly could have been made at home for much cheaper.

Hollywood Pep Cocktail: A blend of “concentrated vital food energy,” according to the Mojave Project. It was likely a smoothie of several cheap root vegetables and some brown sugar.

Mo-Hair: Likely a bunch of salt and mud, which Springer instructed users to rub on their heads while holding their breath as long as they could. The redness of the user’s face was claimed as evidence that the product was working.

Zy-Crystals: Dried salt from the oasis, which according to a lawsuit contained these instructions:

"Again the label on the can has the warning for "External Use Only" and the suggestion, "To hasten results, breath deeply, get at least eight hours of uninterrupted sleep in twenty-four, exercise in moderation and think only clean and constructive thoughts. Also, drink one pint of water one hour before each meal, none at meal time or for two hours thereafter; none before retiring."

There are many others about which we have much less information; really all I could find were the names of the products and their brief description from Springer’s catalog, listed in a 1972 lawsuit. Here’s a few of those:

Shangralae: “Suggested by an Asian Missionary” (cost: $20.00 for four, about $114 in today’s dollars)

Cosmo: “Suggested by an Indian for Lovely Skin” ($15.00 for three, about $85 in today’s dollars)

F-W-O: “Food Delightfully Pleasing to Women” ($15.00 for 24 ounces)

Anthron: “My Mother's Favorite Food” ($25.00 for 24 ounces)

Zzyzx Foot Crystals: “For Poor Tired Feet” ($15.00 for 40 ounces, about $142 in today’s dollars)

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A lovely place, built on lies. (Photo: Tom Hilton/flickr)

 Eventually the government figured out that Springer was a lunatic, that he didn’t own the land he was squatting on (and, sometimes, trying to sell), and that none of his miracle cures consisted of much besides over-the-counter chemicals plus mud and minerals from the desert. Springer was evicted in 1974 and convicted of false advertising, for which he served 49 days of a 60-day sentence. After prison, he moved to Las Vegas, where he died in 1985 at the age of 88.

Zzyzx remains the last name in the American atlas, if not in health circles, and it remains in use as an outpost for a few California universities. It’s now home to the Desert Studies Center, a research facility run by the California State University system; its proximity to Mojave National Preserve makes it ideal for studying the desert.

None of Springer’s miracle cures were ever found to do what they claimed, except possibly the antacid cure. Baking soda is, after all, also the main ingredient in Alka-Seltzer.

How the Miracle Mollusks of Fangataufa Came Back After a Nuclear Blast

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article-imageAn aerial view of Fangatuafa atoll, the site of France's 1968 nuclear bomb test. (Photo: Public Domain/WikiCommons)

In the 1960s and 70s, France conducted 193 nuclear tests in French Polynesia, transforming this stretch of paradise into a field of blooming mushroom clouds.

The largest of these blasts occurred in 1968, when the French government detonated a hydrogen bomb on the Fangataufa atoll, a small, enclosed coral reef that forms a lagoon, almost like a bathtub, in the middle of the ocean. Sacrificed at the altar of global security, at the peak of Cold War paranoia, the reef was singed to a crisp.

“This was a much bigger blast than the others and it was done at low tide,” says Pierre Legendre, a statistical ecologist at the University of Montreal who has been collecting and analyzing data on Fangataufa since 1997. This meant that most of the vegetation was incinerated and “virtually every mollusk was fried.”

Fangataufa and other nearby atolls were selected for the testing because they were so remote, but the radioactive fallout traveled further than expected. According to recently declassified documents, the tests exposed Tahiti to 500 times the maximum level of radiation, and also affected Bora Bora, an island that’s popular with honeymooners. Forty-five years later, Polynesia suffers from a high incidence of thyroid cancer and leukemia, and thousands of veterans and civilians are still battling for compensation over health issues.

article-imageA 'Chambered Nautilus' mollusc. (Photo: Bill Abbott/flickr)

In light of this toxic seepage, it seems that an epicenter like Fangataufa should have been obliterated, or least remain a dead zone. And yet the opposite is true. After surveying the atoll for more than 30 years, scientist Bernard Salvat, who later hired Legendre to analyze his findings, say that its mosses and plants have returned. Even more remarkable is that the mollusks who were fried on its rocky perimeter back in 1968—mollusks that Salvat has been studying since before the tests occurred—have also made something of a comeback.

The resurgence of the mollusks is the subject of Salvat and Legendre’s newly published study. The first of its kind to ever appear in public scientific literature, the paper analyzes 30 years of data that Savat collected from the hydrogen-blasted rocks of Fangataufa, using Legendre’s statistical methods. And it seeks to answer one of the fundamental questions of modern life: what happens after nuclear annihilation? How does nature respond? If it comes back, will it be different, and how?

The answer, say Salvat and Legendre, doesn’t just lie with fate, or the strength of a species, or natural design. It boils down to something more random. If the resurgence of the mollusks was a miracle, it was a miracle of chance.

The story of the mollusks begins far from the atolls of Polynesia, in a school of practical studies in Paris, where Savat was teaching oceanography back in 1966. The young researcher had already made a name for himself as one of the few researchers in the nation to have studied at New Caledonia, home of some of the world’s largest enclosed reefs. Savat had also become friendly with the director of the Museum of Natural History, who worked just down the street, and he was working with the Direction des Centres d'Experimentation Nucleaires (DIRCEN), established to administer nuclear testing.

So when one of the DIRCEN committees began casting about for a researcher to do surveys on one enclosed reef in French Polynesia that would soon be used for nuclear testing, Savat was the obvious choice. Along with two other researchers (one who studied fish, another who studied coral), Savat was tapped to survey Fangataufa’s mollusks, before and after the blasts.

article-imageA satellite reconnaissance image of Mururoa atoll, the sister test site to Fangatuafa, in 1967.  (Photo: Public Domain/WikiCommons)

Savat immediately saw the offer for what it was: a rare opportunity to study primary succession—that is, what happens ecologically and biologically in the wake of total destruction. It’s a subject most scientists don’t get to study, because it’s hard to create total destruction under experimental conditions.

“I can’t go to the funding agency here in Canada and say, ‘I'm going to destroy the vegetation for the animals on an island, especially with an atomic bomb, in order to study succession,’” Legendre says. “They would reject my grant, and they would be right, because it would be immoral. So Bernard knew he had the chance to study what would be impossible in normal scientific contexts. This makes our data unique in the world.”

Savat’s expeditions to Fangataufa began in 1967. He returned again in 1968 and 1970, and then again in 1972, after the testing on Fangataufa was complete. He fixed rope ladders to the reefs so he could anchor himself during dives. He explored the atoll and its neighbors in a nimble inflatable boat. At some point, the other two researchers abandoned their projects, after finding that much of the fish and coral had been protected from the blast by the water, making it difficult to study their recovery in any concrete way.

The mollusks, however, made excellent subjects. Unlike fish, they are slow moving, easy to identify, and can live in the shallowest waters, making them easy to study. They also have relatively long lifespans—a mollusk lives up to ten years—so the generational turnover in any given spot is relatively low. All of these characteristics made it easier to observe what happened to them after the blasts.

article-imageA 'Cypraea textile' mollusk. (Photo: Harry Rose/flickr)

By 1997, Savat had conducted eight field surveys on the reef, at which point he hired Legendre to analyze his data.

The mollusks’ resurgence, their research shows, happened surprisingly quickly. As early as 1972, mollusks had begun to cluster along the rocks, recolonizing the tide pools and upper reaches of the reef. To the untrained eye, it looked as though the same populations of mollusks were coming back. But they were different than before.

Mollusks reproduce by sending their larvae out into the ocean, where they ride the waves and currents for up to thousands of miles, like a scene from “Finding Nemo.” Most of these larvae get eaten by fish and other creatures, but the lucky ones will eventually run into an island, or a reef. As soon as they make contact, they stick out their toes and attach.

This means that the new mollusks of Fangataufa didn’t rise up from the nuclear ashes, like mini shelled phoenixes. Instead, they came by way of waves, drifting from other islands and reefs that may have been thousands of miles away. Unlike the animals of Chernobyl, which were affected by the radiation for generations, the mollusk larvae were genetically fresh.

Many were also different species than the ones before the tests. And this is where the study gets controversial. For years, most ecologists believed that species were controlled exclusively by environmental conditions—in other words, a species lives where the environmental conditions suit them best. Ecologists call this species sorting, and it was the dominant theoretical paradigm when Legendre began his career. 

article-imageThe lagoon at Mururoa atoll in 1972. (Photo: Georges Martin/WikiCommons CC BY 3.0)

Then in 2001, an ecologist named Stephen Hubbell, whose specialty was tropical forests, hypothesized that where a species settles isn’t determined only by environmental conditions—in fact, Hubbell said it was much more random than that. Citing ideas like “random drift,” and suggesting that every species takes a “random walk” to determine where it lives, Hubbell called this hypothesis the unified neutral theory of biodiversity.

Legendre helped explain. “Imagine how the cloud transmits data to your computer. It's about the same with the neutral theory. There are organisms in the cloud and some of them settle in the area that you are studying. Some may be happy there, some may be marginally happy there, and others don’t settle there at all. So there is a big random component to the process.”

Hubbell’s theory has been heavily debated, with ecologists arguing that not every species has an equal chance of colonizing. And even Hubbell was skeptical of Savat and Legendre’s results: “On the face of it, certainly [the results] are consistent with it, but it doesn’t in my opinion prove it. It isn’t a slam dunk,” he told Science Magazine.

Still, the mollusks of Fangataufa offer compelling evidence that their arrival was a matter of chance. After sampling three different portions of the reef, Savat and Legendre found that only three out of 36 species of mollusks were the same as the ones that had been there before the blasts. Meanwhile, on the other two portions of the reef, the composition of species had changed completely, and were also completely different from each other.

“Over the course of many years of surveys, we found the mix of species slowly changed,” Legendre says. “The mollusks that were there at the beginning, lived about 10 years, and were then replaced by new larvae coming in from the ocean.” It’s a process, then, that will continue to occur, as long as Fangataufa remains and there are mollusks around to run into it.

Legendre’s observation seems like “random drift” in action. And the fact that some of the mollusks were eking out a living in sub-ideal conditions seems to support that idea that not every species gets to live in a place that suits them best. Some of the plant-eating mollusks, for instance, had colonized a higher portion of the reef that was especially harsh and dry. Here, they spent three weeks of every month surviving off what little bit of water they had captured in their shells, while they waited for the next full moon to usher in the tide.

If the story behind these mollusks is starting to sound more existential than miraculous, Legendre might agree: “They settled in that way by chance when they encountered the hard substrate,” he says of the mollusks high on the reef. “It’s not ideal, but of course it is better for them than just floating in the ocean, where they would be eaten by the next fish that comes along.”


 

FOUND: $10 Million Worth of Fake Pot

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Just a small portion of the NYPD's haul (Photo: NYPD)

The New York Police Department, along with the Department of Homeland Security and U.S. Attorney's office, has found two million packets of synthetic marijuana—$10 million worth of a drug known as K2 or spice.

In New York, the drug is now commonly used and sold more or less openly in bodegas. It's not a crime to use or to sell it in the city: right now, it's just a health code violation. (The city council's speaker, Melissa Mark-Viverito, is working to change that by making the sale of the drug punishable by up to a year in prison.)

The drug is also cheap—cheaper even than pot. As New York's local CBS station explains:

“They’re made by spraying a variety of chemicals, mostly from China, onto leafy materials,” [U.S. Attorney Preet] Bharara told reporters…. “Then once dried, the leaves are put into small packets with colorful logos and catchy brand names such as ‘Black Giant,’ ‘Geeked Up’ and ‘Scooby Snacks.’…

One particular brand smells like vanilla flavored oregano, and looks like marijuana. When rolled up and smoked like marijuana it’s much more intoxicating and downright dangerous.

The consequences of smoking the drug are high: users often end up in hospitals, sometimes from side effects of having smoked insecticides along with the cannabinoid chemicals. New York police found the two million packets as a part of a larger investigation and push to crack down on the distribution of the drug. The people arrested were charged with crimes including "importing illegal synthetic compounds containing controlled substances," CBS reports. 

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More K2 (Photo: NYPD)

Bonus finds: Bigfoot! (the GTA version), mystery toilet creature

Every day, we highlight one newly lost or found object, curiosity or wonder. Discover something unusual or amazing? Tell us about it! Send your finds to sarah.laskow@atlasobscura.com. 

Fleeting Wonders: Super Blood Moon

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The super blood moon is hanging right around the corner. (Photo: Hanzlers Warped Visions/flickr)

There’s a Super Blood Moon Apocalypse right around the corner, and it’s basically sky-gazing on steroids. If you’re under 33, the evening of September 27th will be your first super blood moon, and you don’t want to miss it—the next one won’t be until 2033.

This mysterious moon brings together a mix of astronomical anomalies, the Jewish calendar, and possibly even Doomsday. Unsurprisingly, crowds of concerned folks are preparing for imminent calamity.

The moon will be at its closest orbital point to Earth (perigee), as well as in its brightest phase, so it will appear bigger and more brilliant than usual—30% brighter and 14% larger than when it's at its farthest point (apogee), a difference of 31,000 miles. Sunlight sifting through the outer bounds of Earth’s atmosphere en route to the moon will cast that signature gory glow, making it both a blood moon and a super moon.

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A super blood moon eclipse—time to buy survival supplies. (Photo: NASA/Lauren Harnett/Wikimedia Commons)

This will be the fourth lunar eclipse in only two years, and, like the previous three, it will be falling on a Jewish holy day (in many parts of the world, but not the U.S., which is in a different timezone). This curious circumstance is known as a tetrad, and has occurred seven times since the birth of Jesus. 

This Blood Moon Prophesy was invented by two Christian ministers, Mark Biltz and John Hagee, who say that this bloody supermoon signals a downward spiral into dark times. Biltz and Hagee have been spending some of their limited remaining time on Earth in a tiff about who had the revelation first.

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An omen of The End, some would say. (Photo: Jonathan Leung/flickr)

It turns out that Mormons are equally distraught; many are worried that an earthquake or military invasion will hit Utah upon the moon's rise. They have been stockpiling food in anticipation of the event, and survival supplies are flying off shelves.

Some people, of course, are just excited about the epic skygazing on offer. The super blood moon, hanging like a juicy, foreboding persimmon in the night sky, will be up there for just one short hour on Sunday, September 27th at 9:11 p.m. EST (or September 28th at 2:11 a.m. GMT), visible from the Americas, Europe, Africa, west Asia and the east Pacific. 

And who knows? It might be the last moon you ever see.

Every day, we track down a fleeting wonder—something amazing that's only happening right now. Have a tip for us? Tell us about it! Send your temporary miracles to cara@atlasobscura.com.

Photos of European Churches Left in Holy Ruin

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article-image(All photos: Hans van Vrouwerf)

It’s estimated that every year between 4,000 and 7,000 churches close down in the USA. In Europe, the statistics vary by country: approximately 20 Church of England churches are closed per year in the UK; in Holland, the statistics are much higher, at around two per week. 

There are ongoing debates about what to do with all these unused churches. In some instances, they have been repurposed: churches have become bars, skate parks and art galleries. But some churches do not get to have a second life. Many are abandoned to deteriorate slowly. Photographer Hans van Vrouwerf has a fascination with lost faith and forgotten places of worship, and has visually documented about 20 abandoned churches around Europe. We spoke with van Vrouwerf about photographing formerly sacred places that have been left to decay.    

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What attracted you to shooting abandoned churches and other places of worship? 
 
It’s not because I’m religious of any kind—far from it, actually. But what attracts me is the fact that faith and believing seems to be 
[becoming a thing] of the past. The modern life and the fast pace we are moving in almost seems to rationalize people a lot more. 
But a place of worship will remain even though nobody is interested anymore. That’s actually the most fascinating part to me: How could this happen?

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How do you find the abandoned churches to photograph? 
 
It’s sometimes a big search throughout the internet. Google is a big help of course, but also people telling me about it because they know my work. Also driving around in different countries and finding them by coincidence helps.
 
How does it feel to photograph something that was once so grand and essential and that is now decayed? 
 
Very special! In all of these places you will get a remarkable feeling. The acoustics in the place make it grand and make you feel small. But the fact that nobody cares anymore is what gives that extra, maybe rather strange, eerie feeling.

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There is a tangible human presence in some of the images—sheet music on a piano, two chairs arranged for a conversation, as though someone just left. Do you know any particular stories about how or why these spaces have become deserted? 
 
Some are really just left to rot. Sounds harsh but it is the truth. Nobody wants to be there anymore. Faith has lost power in those places. But sometimes places also remain abandoned for several years just because there are no funds. What also will happen is that they want to reconvert the place into something different and they are trying to get the money sorted out, or licenses in some EU countries. This can take years. 

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What are your three favorite photographs from this series, and can you tell us why?  
 
One of the best is the library I found in an old monastery. I really just love the light and of course the complete mess of books. Another one I really like is the small chapel with the Mary statue in it. I can’t explain why but this just gives me a relaxing feeling. I like all of them but another one that’s special is the chapel where you can see where the cross used to hang and the rope coming down from the ceiling. It looks like everything has been stolen. You can see a vague text on top of the arch that says, I guess: “In Christus liefde allen een,” which is Dutch for something like “In Christ’s love we all are one,” and in combination with this image it just makes a very weird contrast.
 
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FOUND: Pluto's Dragon-Scale Surface

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Pluto (Photo: NASA/JHUAPL/SWRI)

NASA's New Horizons probe keeps sending back ever-more amazing pictures of Pluto. The newest batch, downlinked to Earth on September 19, shows an "extended color" version of the planet's surface—"a vast rippling landscape of strange, aligned linear ridges that has astonished New Horizons team members," according to the space agency.

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Pluto (Photo: NASA/JHUAPL/SWRI)

The geology of the surface is unlike anything scientists have seen before. In a NASA press release, William McKinnon, New Horizons Geology, Geophysics and Imaging team deputy lead, said it "looks more tree bark or dragon scales than geology." There are possible explanations for this rippling, scale pattern—internal tectonic forces, the lack of sunlight reaching the planet—but for now it's a gorgeous mystery.

Honestly, we could look at Pluto all day. Hello there, you beautiful ball of rock and ice.

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Pluto! (Photo: NASA/JHUAPL/SWRI)

Bonus finds: An enormous time capsule full of water93-pound fossilized coral stone

Every day, we highlight one newly lost or found object, curiosity or wonder. Discover something unusual or amazing? Tell us about it! Send your finds to sarah.laskow@atlasobscura.com. 

How Ten Miles Can Change a Miracle

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St. Brigit's miracle: she took out her own eye rather than marry (Image: Wolfgang Sauber/Wikimedia)

A good story, in the telling, should change and morph over time. But a miracle? In theory, a miracle should be so amazing and improbable that the tale of it is immutable.

That's what early scholars assumed, that medieval scribes were faithfully copying the hagiographies of saints and accounts of their miracles. But more recently it's become clear that scribes would often take a bit of literary license with their miracle descriptions. "Authors often made amendments to match the miracles to local concerns and the specific interests of their audience," says Julianne Pigott, a doctoral candidate studying Irish hagiography at the University of Cambridge.

Pigott and her colleagues are working on a project they call Mapping Miracles—a database of miracle accounts dating from the years 600 to 1200 in the U.K. and Ireland. Although miracles have been a key feature of sainthood since the medieval period, there's never been a scholarly effort to collect and catalogue them, across place and time. It's a huge undertaking, and it's not finished yet. But once it's done, the Mapping Miracles project will be able to show how miracles transform in the telling.

Although their database is still in the works, Pigott and her colleagues can already see how miracles deal with universal themes, such as want and sickness, but adapt them to local circumstances.

"Perhaps the most frequently observed phenomenon in this regard is the changes that happen between the Latin and vernacular edition of a saint’s life," says Pigott. "The vernacular texts are generally much more explicit with respect to personal and place names, situating events within personal and topographic landscapes that will be familiar to their audience."

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The mystic marriage of Catherine of Siena (Image: Giovanni di Paolo/Wikimedia)

One of Pigott's favorite tropes, though, is what she calls the "marriage avoidance plot." In these stories, women of virtue choose God over worldly men and are rewarded for it. The Irish Saint Samthann, forced into marriage, becomes a nun after a fiery vision scares off her husband, who never consummates their marriage. Saint Brigit takes out her own eye rather than marry, and her sight is miraculously restored. Saint Winefred refuses to be a king's concubine and is beheaded; Saint Beino, to avenge her, melts the king into a pool of water.

The basic idea might be the same—refuse men for God, be rewarded—but the specifics are meant to appeal to locals.

"Saint Brigit gouging out her own eye was a familiar tale for Irish audiences which may not have been understood in Anglo-Saxon England," says Pigott. "Wholeness was considered a vital part of beauty and power in early Ireland so in removing her eye she effectively made herself unmarriageable. So where Brigit removed her eye, Merovingian saints Bilhildis and Doda cut off their hair and were miraculously rendered unrecognizable to their families."

And in the later Middle Ages, perhaps because there was a shortage of women, it became less common for saints to be driven to escape marriage. "We get fewer miracles associated with women escaping betrothal and more examples of women's incredible piety within the domestic setting as a stimulus to miracles," says Pigott. "So at the two extremes, you get transvestite Saint Eugenia in fourth-century Egypt who lived and performed miracles as a man to avoid being forced into marriage and thirteenth-century Saint Elizabeth of Hungary who marries at 13 and convinces her husband to support her Christian charity using miraculous transformations and revelations."

Once the database is complete, it will be possible to look for more changes in miracles over time and space. Pigott and her colleagues have finished identifying and cataloguing conversion miracles, and documenting the place and time the miracle was recorded; the gender, age, and class of the saints and those they converted; and the words spoken by the saints. Taken together, these records could reveal what's at the core of a miracle—and what details are allowed a bit of local color. 

Fleeting Wonders: The Magna Carta is Visiting America for 7 Days

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The Magna Carter of 1215, written in iron gall ink on parchment paper, in medieval Latin. (Photo: Earthsound/Wikimedia Commons)

Was Beyonce just in town? Didn't notice—we were too busy getting excited for the arrival of the Magna Carta.

The elderly parchment document is on an international tour, titled “Magna Carta 800: Sharing the Legacy of Freedom.” The 1217 version of the charter, which is about the size of a high school yearbook cover, is making stops in just a few select places—China, Hong Kong, Luxembourg, Malta, Portugal, Singapore, and America. The document is on loan from Hereford Cathedral and traveled first-class on British Airways, perhaps reclining on a lie-flat bed.

It's in New York for a fleeting seven days, its only touch-down in America. The charter is currently on display at the New York Historical Society until September 30th, where it is being feted for its 800th birthday. Like any worthy symbol of liberty, the Magna Carta's birthday party will feature toasts by special guests at the United Nations General Assembly. It is accompanied on its world tour by the only surviving 1215 Kings Writ from Runnymede.

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A 1297 version of Magna Carta, a bit younger and spritelier. (Photo: J.delanoy/Wikimedia Commons)

In case you forgot, the Magna Carta (or "Great Charter") is famous for establishing basic but then-revolutionary concepts of democracy, and serving as an inspiration for many future charters, such as the U.S. Constitution. The Magna Carta was initiated in 1215 by King John of England, who wanted to draft a peace treaty with rebel barons dissatisfied with his rule.

The king established that everyone—including himself!—was subject to the same rules of law, and equally deserving of justice and a free trial. Only four copies are known to exist of the 1217 version, which lists a total of 43 stipulations. 

Every day, we track down a fleeting wonder—something amazing that's only happening right now. Have a tip for us? Tell us about it! Send your temporary miracles to cara@atlasobscura.com.

 

 

How Miracle Max Nearly Shut Down 'The Princess Bride'

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Miracle Max was a miracle unto himself. (Image: Youtube)

Creating a scene-stealing character takes a special alchemy of performance, direction, and artistic license that isn’t easy to predict or replicate. It’s not just good casting or writing; it’s good everything.

Such was the case with Miracle Max in The Princess Bride.

In case there is someone left who has never seen it, the 1987 fantasy film follows the swashbuckling adventures of the farmhand-cum-pirate Wesley (Cary Elwes) and his true love, Princess Buttercup (Robin Wright). Along the way they encounter all sorts of unforgettable characters like revenge-driven swordsman, Inigo Montoya (Mandy Patinkin), gentle giant Fezzik (Andre the Giant), and loquacious gang boss Vizzini (Wallace Shawn). But it is Billy Crystal’s Miracle Max, onscreen for less than five minutes, who has become one of the favorite characters of all.

Miracle Max is a crooked old healer who lives in a hovel in the woods. Late in the film, Inigo and Fezzik bring a near-death Wesley to him to be brought back to life. While the character only has about five minutes of screentime, Crystal, under heavy prosthetics, turned in a performance that was so uproarious that it almost literally left some of the cast in stitches.

As Crystal tells the short 2001 oral history of the movie, As You Wish: The Story of the Princess Bride, the story of Miracle Max on film began when director Rob Reiner forced Crystal to read the William Goldman book (yes, The Princess Bride is a book!) before the movie began filming. After Reiner got Crystal to sign on to the movie as Miracle Max, the director paired him with make-up artist Peter Montagna, who Crystal had worked with previously on Saturday Night Live. Even from the earliest stages of developing the character, Crystal began making it his own, bringing a pair of reference photos to Montagna to help him get the look just right. One was an image of early 20th century baseball manager Casey Stengel, and the other was a picture of Crystal’s grandmother. From these two images the iconically gnomish features of Miracle Max were sculpted.

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Casey Stengel (Image: Wikipedia)

Once it came time to actually film, Crystal had a script, but it didn’t really seem to matter to him. As Elwes tells it in his book, As You Wish: Inconceivable Tales from the Making of The Princess Bride (not to be confused with the previously mentioned documentary), Crystal started riffing from moment one:

"From the first shot in which cantankerous Max appears, poking his head through a wooden peephole in the door (very much like the doorman who greets Dorothy when she and her friends reach Oz), he began ad-libbing.”

Reiner wanted the scenes with Max to be outrageous and Crystal didn’t disappoint. In an interview included with a later edition of the movie, the director says that the part of Miracle Max was written in a voice similar to the classic Mel Brooks character, The 2,000 Year Old Man (a bit that he performed with Rob Reiner’s father, Carl Reiner). Brooks’ was a crotchety, kvetching Jewish caricature in the old Catskills tradition, and Crystal had no problem leaning into the part. “I had relatives like him,” he says in the documentary. 

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Rob Reiner directs Billy Crystal and Carol Kane before excusing himself to laugh. (Image: Youtube)

Over just three days of shooting in the tightly packed set of Max’s hovel, Crystal’s performance managed to nearly shut down the production. Given pretty much free reign by Reiner, Crystal became a show-stopping gag factory. In his book, Elwes remembers, “For three days straight and ten hours a day, Billy improvised thirteenth-century period jokes, never saying the same thing or the same line twice.”

Most of the manic energy and “medieval stand-up,” like the classic MLT sandwich line (mutton, lettuce, tomato), made it to the screen, but Crystal came up with some racier lines that had to be cut. One deleted scene includes the line “Never rush me. I had a very rough night. I found my oldest nephew with a sheep.”

In another deleted scene, Crystal can be seen mugging for the camera, sparking hooting laughter from the cast and crew out of view. This actually became a pretty big problem as reactions to Crystal’s ad-libs kept ruining the sound during takes. Reiner himself eventually had to leave the set and watch the takes from a monitor because he couldn’t keep from bursting into loud laughter. Even more troublesome was Elwes, who had to lay stock still on a table in Max’s hovel, hovering near death. Crystal was so funny that Elwes couldn’t contain himself either, and had to be replaced with a dummy in some shots.

Only Patinkin was able to keep a straight face for the shots, but it cost him. As he says in Elwes’ book, he was clenching so hard to keep from laughing that he actually bruised a rib.

It should also be noted that Max’s scenes would not have been half as memorable and funny were it not for actress Carol Kane who played opposite Crystal as his shrieking harridan of a wife, Valerie. Nearly unrecognizable under her prosthetics, Kane held her own against Crystal’s onslaught. In a movie brimming with catchphrases (“as you wish,” “you killed my father, prepare to die,” etc.), the real miracle behind Miracle Max is that he is remembered at all.    

The 10 Trials of the Master Bladesmith

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Master bladesmith Tim Hancock forges a Damascus steel blade, is a badass. (Image: Daviddarom/Wikipedia)  

You think it’s hard to get a job in your industry? Try becoming a master bladesmith—there are fewer than 200 in the world.

Joining this elite class of swordsperson requires accreditation by the American Bladesmith Society, one of the largest bladesmith organizations in the world. The road from knife hobbyist to professional metalworker is long, filled with incredibly rigorous tests of both material knowledge and physical dexterity. You learn to be an apprentice, and then, later to have an apprentice. You cut steel, you cut hair, you ruin knives.

In other words, it takes more than just being sharp to get an edge in the ancient art of bladesmithing (you’re welcome).

To find out just what is takes to earn the title of master, we spoke with Harvey Dean, a master bladesmith and chairman of the American Bladesmith Society (ABS). The society itself is rather young, having been started in 1973 as a reaction to the dwindling number of bladesmiths crafting quality blades. Many practitioners of the craft had moved away from solid pattern welded construction (which forms a blade out of multiple pieces of metal forged together), opting to practice the quicker and cheaper process of stock removal blademaking (simply cutting the pattern of the blade out of a piece of metal and sharpening it). The founder of the ABS, William Moran, introduced his incredibly strong “Damascus steel”—created by forming a composite metal rod (or “billet”), pounding it flat, and folding it over itself again and again—at a trade show in 1973. He even handed out pamphlets about making Damascus steel to awestruck convention-goers in order to spread around his technique. This form of metal has been the gold standard for the ABS ever since.

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One of Harvey Dean's Damascus steel bowie knives, showing the distinctive ripples of the hundreds of folds. (Image: Harvey Dean/Used with Permission

Dean has been making blades for more than 20 years, having earned his master rating in 1992. He has administered a number of master and journeyman tests over the years and even teaches potential bladesmiths on the ins and out of the craft. But to begin, one simply has to sign up with the ABS and start making blades. From the time time you sign up with the ABS you are considered an apprentice. “Now that doesn’t mean you have to be working under somebody,” Dean says. “That’s just your title. You’re kinda left on your own to find your education, although we do offer some classes and seminars to help you along.” Journeyman and master bladesmiths are generally more than willing to help pass along their knowledge and techniques, but it is up to the aspiring bladesmith to seek out their wisdom.

Once you’ve been a member of the ABS for three years (only two if you also take their "Introduction to Bladesmithing" course), you can take your skills to the next level by finding a master smith to give you a journeyman test. Hopefully you’ve been using your years as an apprentice practicing and learning from your peers, because the test is no walk in the park.

To achieve journeyman status, an apprentice must forge a simple carbon steel blade—no Damascus steel or fancy patterning, not even the hilt needs to be anything fancy. The blade itself can be no longer than 10 inches, and it had better be pretty sharp. You can bring this blade to any Master Smith willing to oversee the test. Given how small the master bladesmith crowd is, it will probably be someone you already know. “I know a lot of the people that come and test [at my shop],” Dean says. “I give them a little speech right at first, saying ‘I know we know each other, and we’re friends, but as soon as you tell me you are ready to take this test, our friendship ceases for a little while. Because it has no bearing on the test whatsoever. Either you pass or you fail.’” There is no room for nepotism in the world of blademaking.

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Another of Dean's signature bowie knives. (Image: Harvey Dean/Used with Permission)

The first test requires nothing more than cutting a rope. However, this must be an unanchored, free-hanging length of rope, and the cut must be made in a single swipe, chopping off approximately six inches from the bottom of the rope. This tests the geometry, shape, and sharpness of the blade. Most applicants swing at the rope in a diagonally downward slice to get a better cut, since coming at it horizontally is more likely to cause the rope to wrap around the blade instead of slicing through.

Assuming the rope is cut successfully, the apprentice must move on to the second phase of the test: chopping wood. In this deceptively simple test, you’ll chop through two regular, construction-grade 2x4s. This often requires a number of consecutive whacks, digging out triangular chunks from the wood, until the boards are scored enough to break. It is violent work that is meant to see how well the blade holds its edge. Any nicks, chips, rolls, or other deformations in the blade’s edge can result in failure. The Master will sometimes run their fingernail down the blade to detect any imperfections invisible to the eye.  

The next step in the test involves cutting a much softer target: hair. To demonstrate that the edge of the blade didn’t dull while chopping wood, the apprentice has to shave some hair off his or her own arm. (You can shave something else, but they probably prefer you to keep it clean.) According to the official testing guidelines, “Enough hair must be shaved to demonstrate that the edge remains keen and shaving sharp.”

The final step in the test is the most stressful—literally. During the final phase of testing, the tester will place the tip of the blade in a vise, and bend it to a 90 degree angle, sometimes using a pipe for leverage. This tests the strength of the metal and the apprentice’s ability to heat treat it, giving the blade a harder edge and springier back. If the stress on the blade causes it to chip, shatter, or snap, the apprentice fails. A slight bit of cracking is allowed, but this is a slim margin for error.

No matter the outcome, the knife is ruined.  

It may seem a bit tragic to destroy a knife immediately after proving its superior quality, but as Dean says, “If a guy’s going to really get serious about it and wants to make sure he passes, he’s gonna have to destroy some before he gets to a master smith’s shop.” If the apprentice does pass the performance tests, he or she must then brave the judgement of a select jury of peers that only convenes twice a year, at either the Blade Show in Atlanta, Georgia, or the International Custom Cutlery Expo in Kansas City, Missouri.

During these panels, each apprentice must bring five carbon steel blades to be judged. Here a jury of ABS master smiths judges the five blades on exacting criteria like design, blade construction, guard construction, balance, and proportions. These blades can be much fancier, since they aren’t going to be destroyed.

If the panel deems the offerings to be of sufficient make and quality, the apprentice is finally named journeyman, and given a “JS” stamp for future blades. Now on to master.

The path from journeyman to master is essentially the same as the path from apprentice to journeyman, but you’ll also have to train apprentices under you. As a journeyman, you must put another 2-3 years of experience under your belt before applying to test for your master rank. When you do, you must then once again seek out a master to perform the test.

To become a master, the performance tests are the same, but the blade must be different. During the master performance test, a journeyman needs to make a Damascus steel blade that has been folded at least 300 times. Dean tests this with his master’s eye: “I could sit down under a microscope and count out those layers, but I can look at it and pretty much tell.” The other difference is that the blade must have a “hidden tang.” The tang is the portion of the blade hidden beneath the handle. For a full tang, the handle material is flush with the edges of the tang, the flat edge of which is usually exposed, sandwiched between the pieces of the grip. The more challenging hidden tang is fully surrounded by the handle. These differences aside, the blade must still cut rope, wood, and hair before being bent into oblivion.

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A folding bowie knife by Harvey Dean that he says was one of the most challenging blades he ever created. (Image: Harvey Dean/Used with Permission)

Once again, the journeyman must then take five blades in front of a jury of masters, at least one of which must be made of Damascus steel. This time, one of those blades has to be a Damascus steel quillion dagger. Quillion daggers are a medieval European style of knife that has a crossguard across the hilt. They are usually of elaborate make, marking the sign of a true master. “It’s one of the harder knives to build. Probably every [technique] you’re ever going to use in any kind of knife is going to be in that,” Dean says. “Ever since the jurying [portion of the certification] has been done, it’s required a quillion dagger. It’s got a lot of different stuff that you normally wouldn’t use if you made hunting knives, or bowie knives, or pocket knives.”

If the quillion dagger and the other juried blades pass muster, the journeyman is named a master smith, and given an “MS” stamp to mark future blades as the work of a master.

Even though the number of official bladesmiths is small, the designation is not going away. Dean says that many of the people who seek to become master bladesmiths come from all walks of life. Some are looking for professional title, while others just consider bladesmithing a hobby. Most people aren’t making massive swords or fantasy blades, but drop point skinning knives, folding pocket knives, and, increasingly, culinary blades are popular constructions.

Dean says that the ABS now has around 1,300 registered members, hailing from 23 different countries. As one of the only bladesmithing organizations left in the world that gives out official ratings, they are seeing an increasingly international membership, to the point that Dean says they are even considering changing the name of the organization to be more inclusive. The title of master bladesmith is not impossible to achieve, but you’d better be on point.

The Hidden Bolts that Drive Manhattan's Infrastructure Nerds Nuts

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A street planning map from 1821 by John Randel. (Photo: Library of Congress)

If you’re going to complete this quest, bring a GPS tracker or have a damn good internal compass. Comb the southern area of Central Park and keep your eyes to the ground. Look for a rocky area and then scan the surfaces for an unnatural addition.

Connect the dots correctly, you’ll find a certain unmarked relic of which few are aware.

The discovery itself isn’t much to see. It’s merely a bolt — a long, jagged piece of metal that was battered into the ground some 200 years ago.

But it’s one of the last vestiges of lost New York that lives in plain sight without an official plaque highlighting its existence. And it’s become a popular treasure hunt for New York history enthusiasts and surveying hobbyists alike, a group of people who prefer not to divulge their knowledge of the relics' precise locations.


The bolt was hammered by John Randel Jr, the surveyor and brains behind the Manhattan Grid. In 1808 he was given the task of planning and commencing the beastly project of transforming the as-of-yet piecemeal-designed New York City into the modern gridded metropolis we know today. For years he surveyed and mapped his vision for the new city. Finally, in 1811 he submitted his designs to the city of New York.

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A modern redrawing of the 1807 version of the Commissioner's Grid plan for Manhattan, a few years before it was adopted in 1811. (Photo: Public Domain/WikiCommons)

But that was the easy part. For nearly a decade he roamed the city, attempting to put either long metal bolts or monuments (three-foot by nine-foot marble slabs) into nearly 1,000 future intersections. These markers were the necessary precursor to actually building the brand new streets.

The work was painstaking and fatiguing, and Randel encountered numerous setbacks, according Marguerite Holloway’s book, The Measure of Manhattan. “Randel accidentally broke a screw on an instrument and had to travel to the city, 3 miles to the south, to have it repaired,” she writes.  He also faced problems with accuracy. The obsessive man tried to ensure all of his measures for future city blocks were perfect. All north-south blocks, recounts Holloway, were to be 260 feet long, and yet one of his monuments just didn’t line up and he could not figure out why. This monotonous and grueling work went on for years—planting bolts and monuments, checking calculations, braving the elements—before any demolition was accomplished.

All the while, Manhattanites were not amused. Though the idea of a new and modern city may sound great to contemporary New Yorkers, people’s livelihoods were at stake with these changes. Houses were built on the soil of old New York and many of them were in the middle of Randel’s imagined streets. New Yorkers, thusly, protested. Some people destroyed Randel’s markers, others threw vegetables at him, one account claims dogs were released on the surveyor.

Though the city was supposedly giving these citizens pay-outs, the ultimate outcome was their land being demolished.


That’s why these bolts represent something deeper and more complex to Reuben Rose-Redwood, a professor of geography at the University of Victoria, than just a quaint keepsake of early New York. For his masters thesis, Rose-Redwood focused on the environmental history of New York City, and the changes the grid brought to the city and its inhabitants. To him, these bolts represent the “politics of mapping.” That is, their physical presence meant both a new modern city to Randel and other officials as well as assured destruction to landowners. 

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John Randel's survey bolt marked the location of Sixth Avenue and 65th Street; the location later became part of Central Park. (Photo: z22/WikiCommons CC BY-SA 3.0)

In 2004, Rose-Redwood and New York surveyor J. R. Lemuel Morrison trudged through Manhattan parks looking for possible places where the bolts could remain. Central Park seemed like the most obvious choice. It was not part of the original plan, which meant that Randel-planned intersections likely were forged into the ground and never materialized. Rose-Redwood and Morrison spent an entire summer, meeting up a handful of times, trying to find at least one of the bolts. Though the first attempts brought about a number of false positives — other landmarks that turned out not to be Randel’s actual marker—finally the two came upon a bona fide bolt the early surveyor had planted, likely the first time anyone realized what this piece of metal was. The trip got memorialized via a 2008 History Channel reenactment.

Following this, the release of Holloway’s book, and other events remembering the building of the grid, Manhattan history enthusiasts have become increasingly interested in the subject. But the beauty of the bolt is that it remains unmarked. And any true aficionado will never share the precise location, at least GPS-wise. Although, the general consensus is that this Central Park bolt is found at the imaginary intersection of 65th street and 6th avenue. 

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A surveyor bolt from John Randel Jr. (Photo: Marguerite Y. Holloway)

But it likely isn’t the only one. While Rose-Redwood and Morrison only discovered this one, other New York parks remain. More than a few enthusiasts have pored over Randel’s old maps where the bolts’ locations are marked and then search other parks. Online surveyor community forums have bragging posts where people show off their discoveries. Rose-Redwood too has received numerous emails over the years from people boasting their finds. While most of these discoveries are likely false positives, the professor believes at least one to be a true Randel bolt. “It looked almost identical to what we had found,” he said. So far just the Central Park bolt has been officially identified as one of Randel’s, but at least two others have been rumored to exist in other locations. One marble monument survived too— although not in its original location and was put on exhibit at the Museum of the City of New York in 2011.

As for any others, who knows? It may seem like every molecule of Manhattan has already been discovered and analyzed, but it’s easy to overlook a slab of metal unless you know its true meaning.

The Ohio Superstore That Beat Walmart by Giving Up Electricity

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Lehman's (Photo: Courtesy of Lehman's)

The world was supposed to end on December 23, 2012, and Lehman’s, the largest purveyor of non-electric goods in the U.S., knew it. Anytime the apocalypse is nigh, Lehman’s sees a surge in business. And usually the Ohio-based store hears from their customers exactly what impending doom is expected to upend humanity this time around.

The year and a half before Y2K, for Lehman's, was almost overwhelming. Tens of thousands of people started calling. Orders for appliances like wood stoves, oil lamps and hand-cracked washers started to backlog. Sometimes they wouldn't be fulfilled for weeks, even months. 

More recently, the legalization of gay marriage has gotten some customers worried about end times. The pope's visit to the White House had some spooked, too. “We heard this fall that the world's going to end. We take it with a grain of salt, and we stay out of the religious and political talk,” says marketing VP Glenda Lehman Ervin, the daughter of the store’s founder, Jay Lehman. “But every time we hear these things, there's a grain of truth in there somewhere. We listen respectfully, and we help them find the products they want.”

At this point, Lehman’s has weathered decades of would-be world-ending events, to become a superstore for purposefully old-fashioned, non-electric everything. During the store’s first decade or two in business, its main customers were locals, many of them from nearby Amish communities. But now Lehman’s caters to everyone from off-the-grid environmentalists to missionaries to preppers. Now, more than ever before, there is a demand for the wares the store sells. By sticking with the tried and true, the old and unnecessary, Lehman’s has become surprisingly trendy.

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Canning supplies, anyone? (Photo: Juan-Calderon/Flickr)

These days, the store has a large department for housewares, with everything needed to chop food, bake it, freeze it, can it, put it in a pie, or preserve it in some other way. There’s a farm kitchen with a butter press, cider maker and ice cream freezer. There are hand-made rugs, and room of laundry appliances (racks, soap, hand-wringers), and a large toy room. The bookshop  is well-stocked with information about raising goats and chickens. It's become its own sort of superstore—albeit one where the architecture incorporates four barn structures that date to before the Civil War. 

Jay Lehman first got into the business of peddling “historical technology," as the store calls it, in 1955, when he came home from serving overseas and was looking for a job. A hardware store, in Kidron, Ohio, about an hour south of Cleveland, was up for sale. With a loan co-signed by his father, Lehman bought it and set about learning how to run it.

“Most people who had a hardware store in 1955 grew out of that business model, says Ervin. "Dad did not.” Older technology appealed to him, because it’s simple enough to fix up when something goes wrong. “He has a 1923 Model T that he drives around in,’ she says. “He likes to be able to look at something, see what's wrong with it, and fix it.”

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Jay Lehman, with his car and two kids (Photo: Lehman's)

Lehman’s always stocked non-electric technology for its Amish customers. But, in the 1970s, the Lehman family first started to understand that there were other groups of people who would benefit from old-school technology as well. Jay Lehman spent much of the 1960s working in Africa for a church-run travel agency that helped facilitate travel for missionaries. When he came home, he grew recommitted to selling products that people living in places without good access to electricity would need, including wood-fired heating and cooking stoves.

In the early 1970s, the manufacturers of these stoves, though, were seeing demand dry up, so much so that they were planning on ending production. When Lehman went to put in an order, the manufacturer required that he buy a three-year supply, in order to ship them at all.

This was just before the 1973-1974 oil embargo hit, and when it did, all of a sudden, the demand for wood-fire stoves jumped. “His three-year supply was gone in six months,” says Ervin, “and when he went back to the stove manufacturers, he was kind of first in line.”

After that, the business started to grow fast, as customers from further afield—Pittsburgh, Columbus, and Raleigh—started calling. Rodale’s Organic Gardening magazine ran a feature on the store. More people started asking if it were possible to ship Lehman’s products to them. In 1978, Lehman and his brother put together the first Lehman’s catalogue, with a print run of a couple thousand.

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A wood-fired stove at Lehman's (Photo: sonja/Flickr)

As it started specializing in non-electric goods, Lehman’s escaped the fate of most mom-and-pop hardware stores. At the same time this small store in northeastern Ohio was expanding, so were the big box stores. The first WalMart opened in 1969, just as Lehman was coming back from Africa; by the end of the 1980s, it had taken over much of the Midwest and the Bible Belt. Since Lehman’s was selling very specific products to communities that needed them, it didn’t have to fight the big box stores that closed down so many other independent stores.

“We don't carry paint any more because we can't compete on that,” says Ervin. “But we have everything you need for an oil lamp. My dad strategically chose those product lines that most people aren't interested in.”

At Lehman’s, she says, the top-selling products have not changed for decades. Wood stoves, gas refrigerators, oil lamps, water pumps, and water filters are always popular: if you don’t have electricity, you still need ways to store food, stay warm, light the night, and access water. But right now, the wares that Lehman’s has stocked for years happen to be growing in popularity for the first time since their heydey in the 1800s.

"We’ve known the term 'off-the-grid' for many, many years," Ervin says. "But now it's a thing."


FOUND: Evidence of Water on Mars

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Mars is streaky (Photo: NASA/JPL/University of Arizona)

After teasing the world with the announcement that a "Mars mystery" had been solved (and after news outlets that likely knew the embargoed study teased the answer), NASA revealed its big find: water on Mars.

Specifically, they reported that Mars' strange streaks are caused by salty water flowing on the planet's surface.

These streaks, called slope linear, appear seasonally. When Mars heats up, to a balmy 250 to 300 degrees Kelvin, the streaks appear—they can be as wide as 16 feet or so. (For context, the freezing point of water is 273.2 degrees Kelvin.)

This is surprising because the surface of Mars is not a friendly place to water. Even if it was there, and even if it did melt, it wouldn't necessary flow in nice lines down the surface; it'd evaporate first.

Water mixed with other compounds, though, behaves differently. The various characteristics of the strange streaks, NASA scientists report in a Nature Geoscience paper, "suggest a possible role of salts in lowering the freezing point of water, allowing briny solutions to flow." They analyzed data from the Compact Reconnaissance Imaging Spectrometer for Mars, which indicate what kind of compounds are present on the planet's surface, and found that the salts in the streaks backed up the idea that the lines were caused by flowing, briny water. 

Even before NASA officially released this information, though, science reporters were talking about water on Mars and pointing as evidence to two papers, authored by members of the same team and being presented at a conference today. One paper is an attenuated version of the paper published in Nature Geoscience. The other deals with the possible origins of the water. In the Geoscience paper, the authors write that "The origin of water forming the [streaks] is not understood," but in the conference paper, some of them suggest that the water could come from the atmosphere.

That's only one possible explanation for the water's origins, but the team is confident that it's there. But that still doesn't answer the most intriguing question about Mars: Is anything living there? 

Bonus find: A "murder victim" who's been hiding for 31 yearsa really old Russian road

Every day, we highlight one newly lost or found object, curiosity or wonder. Discover something unusual or amazing? Tell us about it! Send your finds to sarah.laskow@atlasobscura.com. 

Fleeting Wonders: The Face in the Thumb

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Who is the the Face In The Thumb?! (Image: Imgur)

Pope Francis may have departed the U.S., but thanks to the internet, we are never short of miracles—and they can appear in the most mundane places. Like on the body part of a co-worker in your office.

While it’s no Jesus-In-A-Tree-Trunk, a photo making its way around some image forums shows a human face appearing on a person’s thumb. Posted by Imgur user SketchyScotchGuard, the photo is of a standard human thumb, covered in what looks like black ink. In the middle of the thumbprint whorl is the smiling face of an unknown person.

According to the brief headline of the image (which seems to be the only available information), the face-thumb occurred when the thumb owner was fixing a paper jam in the printer. Rather than a blessed or haunted printer being behind the workplace miracle, it is more likely that the person de-jamming the machine grabbed a previous print job that had an image of a face on it. The face was probably then transferred to the thumb like Silly Putty.

The identity of the face, and the co-worker on whose thumb it was emblazoned, are unknown. In a later comment on the post, SketchyScotchGuard said that they didn't know who it was either, since the co-worker is in a different department. It's hard to discern the gender and age of the face on the thumb, but whoever it is, they appear happy enough. Or did. Unlike most miracle images that appear in, say, tree stumps or toast, the miraculous face in the thumb is—was—an ephemeral marvel, lost forever after a quick hand wash.

Every day, we track down a fleeting wonder—something amazing that's only happening right now. Have a tip for us? Tell us about it! Send your temporary miracles to cara@atlasobscura.com.

The Names of America’s Coffee Shops Cover All the Grounds

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article-image(Photos: Chris Stuart (Baguetteaboudit); Yuting (Snakes and Lattes); Phocion Bryer (The Donut Whole); Noah (The Human Bean)

See our ultimate crowdsourced map of punny businesses in America.

America’s coffee shops aren’t trying to stump you, and that’s okay. 

The vast majority of submitted establishments stick to four obvious coffee themes: brew, bean, perk, grounds (or grind). Very few of these business names offer the forehead-slapping, spit-out-your-drink sort of puns. They’re more obvious than that, readily understood by any passerby without a second look. They also tend to be comparatively tamer than some of the other industries we explored (shoutout to waxing shops and towing companies!)

Perhaps because of the more conspicuous nature of these puns, there’s lots of repetition here. Brewed Awakenings is the most popular name by far and it knows no geographic bounds. Not only can you get a certified brewed awakening in many states in the lower 48, but up in Alaska and even in Guam. 

And yet, when it comes to sheer number of references, “brew” comes in second place. It seems that, more than anything, the folks responsible for naming the nation’s coffeehouses love riffing on the idea of coffee grounds. From Common Grounds to Uncommon Grounds and from Higher Grounds to Legal Grounds, all the (sorry) grounds are covered. 

But where the nation’s coffeeshop owners really do justice to their signature stimulant’s creative powers is when it comes to musical references. You have Sister Sludge, Scone Pony, Moody Brews, Dark Side of the Spoon, and Rimsky-Korsakoffee House, among others. It makes sense since, after all, coffee shops are so often distinguished by the aural offerings as by the drinks.

A blend of coffeeshop facts:

—38 variations on grind/grounds

—27 variations on "brews"

—14 variations on "bean"

—11 variations on "perk"

—15 shops named "Brewed Awakening"

Editor's Picks:

Burial Grounds (Olympia, WA)

Coffee Crossing (New Albany, IN) 

Freudian Sip (Northridge, CA)

Rimsky-Korsakoffee House (Portland, OR)

Scone Pony (Spring Lake NJ)

Sister Sludge (Minneapolis, MN)  

Here are the other categories:

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Pet Care

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

Hair/Nail Salons

The full list:

A Shot in the Dark Coffee House
Twin Falls, ID
Bad Ass Coffee
Santa Rosa, CA
Bagel Mainea
Augusta, ME
Baguetteaboudit!
Brooklyn, NY
Bean There
San Francisco, CA
Bean There Coffeehouse
Virginia Beach, VA
BeanGood: The Coffee Pub
Arlington, VA
Beans Boro Coffeehouse & Roastery
Greensboro, NC
Beans in the Belfry
Brunswick, MD
Bigelow Gulp
Spokane, WA
Brew Ha Ha
North Adams, MA
Brew Ha-Ha
Baton Rouge, LA
Brew HaHa!
Newark, DE
Brewed Awakening
Ketchikan, AK
Bellingham, WA
Belfair, WA
Metuchen, NJ
Newark, DE
Willits, CA
Berkeley, CA
Brewed Awakening Coffee House
Westmont, IL
Brewed Awakenings
Grand Rapids, MN
Vancouver, WA
Appleton, WI
Wells, ME
Cedar Rapids, IA
Cranston, RI
Tamuning, Guam
BrewHoo Cafe
Livermore, CA
Brews Bros Lounge
Spokane, WA
Bun Bun's Bake Shop
Brunswick, ME
Burial Grounds
Olympia, WA
Café Ah Roma
Berea, OH
Cafe Diem
Ames, IA
Cafenation
Brighton, MA
Calf Fiend Cafe
Redwood Falls, MN
ChocoLaté Coffee
Decatur, GA
Coffee on the Fly
Creede, CO
Coffee Crossing
New Albany, IN
Coffee Labs Roasters
Tarrytown, NY
Common Ground Cafe and Coffee
Baltimore, MD
Common Grounds Coffee House
Lexington, KY
Common Grounds Coffeehouse
Denver, CO
Confections of a Rock $tar Bakery
Asbury Park, NJ
Corner Perk Cafe
Bluffton, SC
Crimson and Whipped Cream
Norman, OK
Daily Grind
Pullman, WA
Dark Side of the Spoon
Magnolia, TX
Davenport's Cafe Diem
Pittsboro, NC
Deja Brew
Ellsworth, ME
Bethlehem, PA
Raleigh, NC
Dough Ray and Me
Boerne, TX
Elkins Perk
Elkins Park, PA
Espresso Yourself
Fircrest, WA
Fabled Brew: A Story in Every Cup
Fairhope, AL
Fair Grinds Coffee
New Orleans, LA
Freedom of Espresso
Syracuse, NY
Freudian Sip
Northridge, CA
Full of Beans
Ojai, CA
Get Baked
Windsor, CT
Give Mia Cookie
Bethel Park, PA
Glazed and Confused Bakery
Lansing, MI
Global Libations
Kutztown, PA
Green T Coffee Shop
Boston, MA
Ground Zero
Madison, WI
Grounded
New York, NY
Grounded Coffee
Alexandria, VA
Grounds For Celebration
Des Moines, ID
Grounds for Thought
Bowling Green, OH
HeBrews Coffee
Bedford, PA
High Grounds Coffee
Baltimore, MD
Higher Grounds Cafe
Golden, CO
Higher Grounds Espresso
Port Angeles, WA
Hire Grounds & Goodbooks
Macon, GA
Holy Grounds
Villanova, PA
Austin, TX
Hoosier Mama Pie Company
Chicago, IL
How You Brewin
Beach Haven, NJ
Human Bean
Portland, OR
Bend, OR
Inman Perk Coffee
Atlanta, GA
It's a Grind
Plainsboro, NJ
IV Drip
Isla Vista, CA
Java Good Day
East Greenville, PA
Java the Hut
Woodland Park, CO
Silver City, NM
Jitters
Joliet, IL
Juan Pelota
Austin, TX
Judge For Yourself
Santa Barbara, CA
Latte Da
York, PA
Legal Grounds
Bend, OR
Rutherfordton, NC
Legal Perks
New Orleans, LA
Lucky Perk
Boise, ID
Massapequa Perk
Massapequa Park, NY
Moody Brews
Dorris, CA
Nervous Dog Coffee Bar
Akron, OH
Never Too Latte
San Bruno, CA
Nothing Bundt Cakes
Eden Prairie, MN
Temecula, CA
On What Grounds?
Berlin, MD
One Of Life's Perks
Apple Valley, CA
Passion Flour Patisserie
Salt Lake City, UT
Perk Cup Cafe
Berea, OH
PeRx You Up
Portland, ME
Pike's Perk
Colorado Springs, CO
Plentea
San Francisco, CA
Poplar Perk'n
Memphis, TN
Pour Girls
Roseville, MN
Pour House
Russell, KY
Quince Essential Coffee
Denver, CO
Rimsky-Korsacoffee house
Portland, OR
River Daze
Hood River, OR
Sacred Grounds
Ruidoso, NM
Scone Pony
Spring Lake, NJ
Sconehenge
Berkeley, CA
Sister Sludge
Minneapolis, MN
Slave to the Grind
Bronxville, NY
Sovereign Grounds
Minneapolis, MN
State Grounds
Hastings, MI
SteamPunks
Portland , OR
Sufficient Grounds
Berkeley, CA
Supreme Bean
Port Orchard, WA
Swallow
Brooklyn, NY
Taste Budds
Red Hook, NY
The Bean Counter
Washington, DC
The Bean Gallery
New Orleans, LA
The Central Roast
Pismo Beach, CA
The Daily Grind
Waseca, MN
Cambridge, WI
Baltimore, MD
Pueblo, CO
Santa Barbara, CA
The Donut Whole
Wichita, KS
The Human Bean
Hillsboro, OR
Rocklin, CA
The Neutral Ground
New Orleans, LA
The Sentient Bean
Savannah, GA
Uncommon Grounds
Minneapolis, MN
Saratoga Springs, NY
Indianola, IA
Uranus Fudge Factory
Uranus, MO
Urban Grounds
Avondale Estates, GA
What A Grind
San Francisco, CA
Wit's End Coffee House
Marion, IA

Hair They Are, the Punniest Salon Names in America

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article-image(Photos: Jacob Haller (Sunny and Shears, From Hair 2 E-Tan-ity); Jeannie O (Intl. Hairport); Kirsten Ruud (I Kneaded This); Jane Nagle (Jack of all Fades); Todd Tracy (Grateful Head); Emily C Hughes (Unbeweavable); Andrew Cafourek (Curl up & Dye))

Remember the hair salon on The Simpsons called "Curl Up And Dye"? I remember laughing my head off at that, not just because it's a good double pun (both "curl up" and "dye" are hair-relevant), but because the phrase that's being punned on is so off-putting. Who would name their business "curl up and die"?

Turns out, fully 30 different places would, from California to Maine (plus a Kurl Up & Dye in Texas). There are also several other death/grievous bodily harm puns (I'll Cut You), and a slew of raunchy ones (Finger Bang). A surprisingly large number of salon names make some kind of pun on airplanes and airports, despite the fact that association with air travel has never made a business sound appealing. There's even a salon called Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs. Sure, it evokes religiously-motivated murder, but by God, they're committed to the pun.

In short, if there's one thing you can say for sure about hair and nail salons, it is this: they don't really care if their name suggests something unsavory. Execution? Ghosts? Fox News? If it rhymes with something relating to nails or haircuts, bring it on.

Some of the highlights (GET IT?):

—25 puns on (h)airports, (h)airlines, or (h)airplanes

—7 (H)Air Force Ones

—8 variations on "Best Little Hairhouse"

—4 harem/hairem jokes

—6 references to the police/judicial process: 3 "crops and bobbers" variants, 3 "electric chair" jokes, and a "Hair Street Blues"

Editor's picks:

Barberella (Hamtramck, MI)

Clip Art (Lexington, KY)

Combing Attractions (Conway, NH)

Dye Pretty (Round Rock, TX)

Finger Bang (Portland, OR)

Hairaphernalia (St. Louis Park, MN)

Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs (Chicago, IL)

Hannah And Her Scissors (Miami, FL)

Lice Knowing You (Portland, OR)

Nail Me Good (Hazelwood, MO)

Scissors Palace (Las Vegas, NV)

Shear Lock Combs (St. Peters, MO)

Snip Tease (Toms River, NJ)

The Grateful Head (San Francisco, CA)

You've Got Nail ((Brooklyn, NY)

And here is the list of other categories:

Coffee shops

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Pet Care

Restaurants

Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms

The full nail/hair salon list:

5150 Salon
Fremont, CA
A Breath Of Fresh Hair
Tallahassee, FL
A Breath of FresHair
Saco, ME
A Cut Above the Rest
St. Louis, MO
A Head of Time
Columbus, OH
A YOU'nique Image
South Bend, IN
Aloha Hairlines
Pearl City, HI
American Hairlines
Manchester, VT
Florence, MA
Bethlehem, PA
Palm Desert, CA
Anita Haircut
Urbandale, IA
Jamestown, RI
Anita Kurl
Boston, MA
April Shears
Ellsworth, ME
Barbarella Beauty Lounge
Berkeley, CA
Barberella
Hamtramck, MI
Be Hair Now
Ann Arbor, MI
Bellezza HAIRitage
Tuscaloosa, AL
Best Lil' Hair House in Tucson
Tucson, AZ
Best Little Hair House
Providence, RI
Van Wert, OH
Beaumont, TX
Best Little Hairhouse in Vegas
Las Vegas, NV
Blooming Nails
Manhattan, NY
Wayne, PA
Chicago Hairport
Tecumseh, MI
Clip Art
Lexington, KY
Combing Attractions
Conway, NH
Corporate Hairquarters
Flagstaff, AZ
Crops and Bobbers
Oakland, CA
Crockett, CA
Curl Up & Dye
Terre Haute, IN
Steamboat Springs, CO
St. Paul, MN
Redondo Beach, CA
Puyallup, WA
Phoenix, AZ
Old Orchard Beach, ME
Newport, RI
Green Brook, NJ
Depew, NY
Chicago, IL
Carrboro, NC
Boston, MA
Curl Up and Die
Denver, CO
Curl Up and Dye
Stevensville, MT
Belmont Corner, ME
Old Orchard Beach, ME
Albany, NY
Malden, MA
Copiague, NY
Dunellen, NJ
Allentown, PA
Gilroy, CA
Ridgecrest, CA
Hacienda Heights, CA
Tyler, TX
Jacksonville, FL
Daytona Beach, FL
Curl Up N Dye
Chicago, IL
La Porte, TX
Cut & Dry
Hull, MA
Cutie Calls
Brooklyn, NY
Cuttin' Loose
Cleveland, OH
Cutting Remarks
Palermo, ME
Deb N Hair Salon & Day Spa
Ladd, IL
Deja Du
Chattanooga, TN
Do or Dye
Durham, NC
Houston, TX
Dye Pretty
Round Rock, TX
E-Clips Hair Studio
Seattle, WA
Edmonds Mane Attraction
Edmonds, WA
Edna's Crown and Glory
Thomaston, GA
Enfield Hairport
Enfield, NH
Finailly
Brooklyn, NY
Finger Bang
Portland, OR
Fox Nails
New York, NY
From Hair-2-E-Tan-ity Day Spa
Johnston, RI
Gail's Mane Apperance
North Ridgeville, OH
Get Nailed
Las Vegas, NV
Austell, GA
Grateful Dreads
Ann Arbor, MI
Grateful Head
Mountain View, CA
Great Head Salon
Chicago, IL
Hair and Now
Lexington, KY
Fresno, CA
Hair Force
Sheboygan, WI
Metairie, LA
Kailua Kona, HI
Hair Force One
Traverse City, MI
Raymond, ME
Rutland, VT
Warwick, RI
Holbrook, NY
Camdenton, MO
Stanton, KY
Hair Harbor
Kenmore, WA
Hair I Am
Bristol, CT
Hair It Is
Mercer Island, WA
Pleasant Ridge, OH
Spartanburg, SC
Jackson, MS
Hair Jordan
Bloomington, IN
Lexington, KY
Hair on Broadway
Lexington, KY
Hair On Earth
North Oaks, MN
Staten Island, NY
Hair Port Beauty Salon
Warren, OH
Hair Street Blues
Sacramento, CA
Hair Way to Heaven
Newport, NC
Hair Way To Heaven
Alabaster, AL
Hair We Are
Granite Falls, WA
River Edge, NJ
Chestertown, MD
Charleston, WV
Murfreesboro, TN
Hair We Go Again
San Diego, CA
Hair-Y Care-Y
Mint Hill, NC
Hair's Evelyn
Waltham, MA
Hairaphernalia
St. Louis Park, MN
Hairatage of Beauty
Oakland, CA
Hairesy
Minneapolis, MN
Hairfax
Fairfax, CA
Hairitics Dye For Your Beliefs
Chicago, IL
Hairousel
San Jose, CA
Hairphenalia
Yorktown, VA
Hairplanes
Blue Hill, ME
Hairport
Pembroke, VA
San Antonio, TX
Hairport 77
Greensboro, NC
Hairport by Cathy
Elyria, OH
Hairs Looking at You
Emmaus, PA
Hairs to You
Rice Lake, WI
Hairsay
Houston, TX
Hairway to Heaven
Norwell, MA
Kemah, TX
Hairy Situations
Hudson, NY
Hank of Hair
Kansas City, MI
Hanna & Her Sisters
Queens, NY
Hannah and Her Scissors
Miami, FL
Haute Headz Salon
Tallahassee, FL
Head Turner
Jackson, MS
Headquarters
Warren, OH
Headquarters Salon
Kane, PA
Heads of State
Erie, PA
Heflin's Hairport
Arlington, TX
Holly's Curl Up and Dye
Manti, UT
Hot Heads: A Cool Salon
Wauwatosa, WI
I Kneaded This Massage!
Rhinebeck, NY
I'll Cut You
Chicago, IL
Mentor, OH
International Hairport
Truth or Consequences, NM
Jack of All Fades
St Louis, MO
JoAnn's Hair 'Em
Madison, NJ
Juanderful
Lithonia, GA
Julius Scissor
Philadelphia, PA
Karen for Hair
Waukesha, WI
Kropps and Bobbers
New York, NY
Kurl Up & Dye
Dallas, TX
Kutt Above
Dothan, AL
Lash Out Loud
Puyallup, WA
Lice Knowing You
Portland, OR
Lisa's Hairport
Bradford, PA
Mane Attraction
Burlington, VT
Oshkosh, WI
Mane Attractions
Madison, WI
Lake Charles, LA
Mane Escape
Concord, MA
Mane Event
San Francisco, CA
Mane Street
Hudson, NY
Manely Men Harecuts
Gray, ME
Mars Attracts!
Wakefield, RI
Mary's Mane Solution
Waterford, MI
Mary's Shear Artistry Hair
Roscoe, IL
MC Nails
Placerville, CA
More Hair City
Morehead City, NC
Mousey Brown Salon
Brooklyn, NY
N Style
Fairmont, WV
Nail Me Good
Hazelwood, MO
Nailed It
Little Canada, MN
Nailed It!
Cleveland, OH
New Hairizons
Point Pleasant Beach, NJ
Outshine Salon
Seattle, WA
Ova's Hairum
Richmond, IN
Pat on the Head
Oakmont, PA
Peek-A-Do
Durham, NC
Personali-Tease
Waterville, ME
Peter's Over Hair
Revere, MA
Pharaoh's Hairum
Fairport, NY
Rochester, NY
Rape of the Locke
Newark, DE
Ross Vegas
Fairfield, OH
Scarlett O'Haira's Salon & Company
West Palm Beach, FL
Scissors and Sinners
,Fort Collins
Scissors of Oz
Tamworth, NH
Scissors Palace
,Las Vegas
SFO Hairport
San Francisco, CA
Shaving Grace Barbers
Exton, PA
She Goes to Your Head
Queens, NY
Shear Decadence
,Tyler Texas
Shear Designs
,Westlake Ohio
Shear Ego
Rochester, NY
Shear Elegance
Pittsburgh, PA
Shear Energy
Huntsville, AL
Shear Ingenuity Hair Salon
Philadelphia, PA
Shear Lock Combs
St. Peters., MO
Shear Madness
Austin, TX
Shear Madness: Haircuts for Kids
Olathe, KS
Shear Magic
Medway, MA
Shear Perfection
Middletown, CT
Flagstaff, AZ
Shear Pleasure
St. Paul, MN
Cheltenham, PA
Shear Style
High Point, NC
Shearlock Combs
Naperville, IL
Shears To Ya
Walled Lake, MI
Shears To You
Oak Lawn, IL
Sheer Bliss
Gray, ME
Snappy Nail
Huntsville, AL
Snip Tease
Toms River, NJ
Starbutts
Winter Park, FL
Stocks and Blondes
San Jose, CA
Strand Barber & Beaury
San Francisco, CA
Sunny & Hair
Avoca, AR
Tease Salon
Milwaukee, WI
Thairapy
South Pasadena, CA
The Beard & Mane
Omaha, NE
The Best Li'l Hair House
Fountain Valley, CA
The Best Little Hair House
,WallaceID
The Best Little Hairhouse in Gresham
Gresham, OR
The Eclectic Chair
Idaho Falls, ID
The Electric Chair
San Diego, CA
The Godbarber
New Orleans, LA
The Grateful Head
San Francisco, CA
The Hair After
Concord, MA
Cambridge, OH
The Hair-Loom
Ithaca, NY
The Hairitage
Bethel, OH
The Honeycomb
Charlottesville, VA
The Last Tangle in Washington
Washington, DC
The Mane Attraction
Rochester, NY
The Twisted Scissor
Lexington, KY
Tips & Toes Spa
Joliet, IL
To Dye For
Easthampton, MA
Toe Tally Nails
Washington, DC
Toni's Hair We Go
North Bend, OR
Tortorice & the Hair
Bethel Park, PA
Tortorrice and the Hair
,Bethel ParkPA
Un-B-Weaveable
Hagerstown, MD
Unbeweavable Beauty Supply
Brooklyn, NY
United Hair Lines Inc.
Niles, IL
United Hairlines & Tan Lines
Holland, OH
Uptight Hair Salon
Seattle, WA
Wak 'N Yak
Okanogan, WA
Whoopti Do
Vermillion, SD
Wicked Clippahs
Sandwich, MA
Wild Hair
Wichita, KS
Wild Hair's
Williamstown, NJ
Wizard of Ahhs
Savannah, GA
You've Got Nail
Brooklyn, NY

America's Crappy Plumbers, Bloomin' Awful Florists, and Dirty Cleaning Companies

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article-image(Photo: Bruce Ryan (Sherwood Florist); Aaron Harris (The Perennial Gardener): Kelly (Eufloria); Steven Lemaster (Bokay))

See our ultimate crowdsourced map of punny businesses in America.

A person's home is his or her castle—and as anyone who has ever owned one knows, even metaphorical castles need tons of very real upkeep. Luckily, there are whole armies of dedicated plumbers, housekeepers and florists out there ready to provide the best sort of all-American service. The kind that comes with a smile and a linguistic nudge in the ribs. 

Each of these hospitable pun-loving subgenres has its own set of signature moves. Florists are pretty much all show-offs ("Flowerkraut"? Really?). Those who specialize in sewage, dirt, and other facts of life tend to take one of two pun paths—they either revel in their chosen materials (see: Ash Wipe Chimney Sweeps; The Butt Hut Comfort Stations), or elevate them (A Royal Flush; Sweeping Beauty). And several servicemen-heavy companies have names straight out of bad pornography (College Hunks Hauling Junk, anyone?)

article-image(Photo: Michael Keys)

Here's what you should know about this new breed of domestic pest:

—A jaunt through the home service industry contains a surprising amount of sex (Talk Dirty To Me; Hung-Rite Garage Door) and violence (Natural Born Cleaners; Shutter Up Quick). Safer to do your own dirty work—say at U.N. Piece Cleaners, a New York, NY laundromat.
—Of the 4 Sherwood Florists, only 1 is actually located in a town called Sherwood (it's in Wisconsin).
—Florists are real cinephiles—our list has nods to Forrest Gump, Laurel and Hardy, The Lone Ranger, and It's a Wonderful Life
—By the same token, portable toilet purveyors from the Windy City are Hibernophiles—Chicago boasts both Pot O'Gold and the much less subtle LepreCAN.

Editor's picks:

Florists

Floral and Hardy (Oklahoma City, OK)
Fancy Plants (Savannah, GA)
The Lone Arranger (Ingleside, TX)
The Petal Pusher (Decatur, AL)

Cleaning, home services & laundromats

Ash Wipe Chimney Sweeps (Vernon Hills IL & St. Louis, MO)
Mr. Smarty Paints (Austin, TX)
Tree Musketeers (San Antonio, TX)
Sweet Pea Sewer & Septic (Missoula, MT)

Portable bathrooms

Callahead (Broad Channel, NY)
LepreCAN (Chicago, IL)
The Throne Depot (Woburn, MA)

And here is the list of other categories: 

Coffee shops

Bar/Pubs 

Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)

Doctors and Dentists

Food Trucks

Pet Care

Restaurants

Hair/Nail Salons

article-image(Photo: Olivia)

And here is the full list.

Florists:

Bokay Florist
Indianapolis, IN
Enchanted Florist
Commerce, GA
Eufloria Flowers
Ashland, OR
Fancy Plants
Savannah, GA
Floral and Hardy
Oklahoma City, OK
Florist Gump
Bunbury, WA
Flowerkraut
Hudson, NY
Flowers to the People
St. Louis, MO
Rhythm and Blooms
Eugene, OR
Sherwood Florist
Seattle, WA
Sherwood, WI
Dayton, OH
Claremont, CA
The Enchanted Florist
Niagara Falls, NY
The Lone Arranger
Ingleside, TX
The Perennial Gardener
Fort Collins, CO
The Petal Pusher
Decatur, AL
Zuzu's Petals
Chicago, IL

 

Portable toilets:

A Royal Flush
Brooklyn, NY
A Royal Flush, Inc.
Bridgeport, CT
Callahead
Broad Channel, NY
Gaz-Bah Mini Shop
Columbia, SC
Jackpot Sanitation
Phoenix, AZ
LepreCAN
Chicago, IL
Pot O' Gold
Chicago, IL
The Butt Hut Comfort Stations
Redding, CA
The Throne Depot
Woburn, MA

 

Cleaning services:

Ash Wipe Chimney Sweeps
Vernon Hills, IL
Ash Wipers Chimney Sweep Inc.
St. Louis, MO
College Hunks Hauling Junk
Tampa, FL
Heaven Scent
Brooklyn, NY
Hung-Rite Garage Door
Flagstaff, AZ
Mr Smarty Paints
Austin, TX
Natural Born Cleaners
Atlanta, GA
Shutter Up Quick
Coppell, TX
Spokane House of Hose
Spokane, WA
Sweeping Beauty
Trussville, AL
Sweet Pea Sewer & Septic
Missoula, MT
Talk Dirty to Me
Marion, MA
Tree Musketeers
San Antonio, TX
U.N. Piece Cleaners
New York, NY
Wash This
San Francisco, CA
We Wash It
Norway, ME
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