(Photos: Chris Stuart (Baguetteaboudit); Yuting (Snakes and Lattes); Phocion Bryer (The Donut Whole); Noah (The Human Bean)
See our ultimate crowdsourced map of punny businesses in America.
America’s coffee shops aren’t trying to stump you, and that’s okay.
The vast majority of submitted establishments stick to four obvious coffee themes: brew, bean, perk, grounds (or grind). Very few of these business names offer the forehead-slapping, spit-out-your-drink sort of puns. They’re more obvious than that, readily understood by any passerby without a second look. They also tend to be comparatively tamer than some of the other industries we explored (shoutout to waxing shops and towing companies!)
Perhaps because of the more conspicuous nature of these puns, there’s lots of repetition here. Brewed Awakenings is the most popular name by far and it knows no geographic bounds. Not only can you get a certified brewed awakening in many states in the lower 48, but up in Alaska and even in Guam.
And yet, when it comes to sheer number of references, “brew” comes in second place. It seems that, more than anything, the folks responsible for naming the nation’s coffeehouses love riffing on the idea of coffee grounds. From Common Grounds to Uncommon Grounds and from Higher Grounds to Legal Grounds, all the (sorry) grounds are covered.
But where the nation’s coffeeshop owners really do justice to their signature stimulant’s creative powers is when it comes to musical references. You have Sister Sludge, Scone Pony, Moody Brews, Dark Side of the Spoon, and Rimsky-Korsakoffee House, among others. It makes sense since, after all, coffee shops are so often distinguished by the aural offerings as by the drinks.
A blend of coffeeshop facts:
—38 variations on grind/grounds
—27 variations on "brews"
—14 variations on "bean"
—11 variations on "perk"
—15 shops named "Brewed Awakening"
Editor's Picks:
Burial Grounds (Olympia, WA)
Coffee Crossing (New Albany, IN)
Freudian Sip (Northridge, CA)
Rimsky-Korsakoffee House (Portland, OR)
Scone Pony (Spring Lake NJ)
Sister Sludge (Minneapolis, MN)
Here are the other categories:
Bar/Pubs
Other (including retail stores, vape shops and lots of yarn stores)
Doctors and Dentists
Food Trucks
Pet Care
Restaurants
Cleaning Businesses/Flower Shops/Portable Bathrooms
Hair/Nail Salons
The full list:
A Shot in the Dark Coffee House | |
Bad Ass Coffee | |
Bagel Mainea | |
Baguetteaboudit! | |
Bean There | |
Bean There Coffeehouse | |
BeanGood: The Coffee Pub | |
Beans Boro Coffeehouse & Roastery | |
Beans in the Belfry | |
Bigelow Gulp | |
Brew Ha Ha | |
Brew Ha-Ha | |
Brew HaHa! | |
Brewed Awakening | Ketchikan, AK | Bellingham, WA | Belfair, WA | Metuchen, NJ | Newark, DE | Willits, CA | Berkeley, CA |
|
Brewed Awakening Coffee House | |
Brewed Awakenings | Grand Rapids, MN | Vancouver, WA | Appleton, WI | Wells, ME | Cedar Rapids, IA | Cranston, RI | Tamuning, Guam |
|
BrewHoo Cafe | |
Brews Bros Lounge | |
Bun Bun's Bake Shop | |
Burial Grounds | |
Café Ah Roma | |
Cafe Diem | |
Cafenation | |
Calf Fiend Cafe | |
ChocoLaté Coffee | |
Coffee on the Fly | |
Coffee Crossing | |
Coffee Labs Roasters | |
Common Ground Cafe and Coffee | |
Common Grounds Coffee House | |
Common Grounds Coffeehouse | |
Confections of a Rock $tar Bakery | |
Corner Perk Cafe | |
Crimson and Whipped Cream | |
Daily Grind | |
Dark Side of the Spoon | |
Davenport's Cafe Diem | |
Deja Brew | Ellsworth, ME | Bethlehem, PA | Raleigh, NC |
|
Dough Ray and Me | |
Elkins Perk | |
Espresso Yourself | |
Fabled Brew: A Story in Every Cup | |
Fair Grinds Coffee | |
Freedom of Espresso | |
Freudian Sip | |
Full of Beans | |
Get Baked | |
Give Mia Cookie | |
Glazed and Confused Bakery | |
Global Libations | |
Green T Coffee Shop | |
Ground Zero | |
Grounded | |
Grounded Coffee | |
Grounds For Celebration | |
Grounds for Thought | |
HeBrews Coffee | |
High Grounds Coffee | |
Higher Grounds Cafe | |
Higher Grounds Espresso | |
Hire Grounds & Goodbooks | |
Holy Grounds | |
Hoosier Mama Pie Company | |
How You Brewin | |
Human Bean | |
Inman Perk Coffee | |
It's a Grind | |
IV Drip | |
Java Good Day | |
Java the Hut | Woodland Park, CO | Silver City, NM |
|
Jitters | |
Juan Pelota | |
Judge For Yourself | |
Latte Da | |
Legal Grounds | Bend, OR | Rutherfordton, NC |
|
Legal Perks | |
Lucky Perk | |
Massapequa Perk | |
Moody Brews | |
Nervous Dog Coffee Bar | |
Never Too Latte | |
Nothing Bundt Cakes | Eden Prairie, MN | Temecula, CA |
|
On What Grounds? | |
One Of Life's Perks | |
Passion Flour Patisserie | |
Perk Cup Cafe | |
PeRx You Up | |
Pike's Perk | |
Plentea | |
Poplar Perk'n | |
Pour Girls | |
Pour House | |
Quince Essential Coffee | |
Rimsky-Korsacoffee house | |
River Daze | |
Sacred Grounds | |
Scone Pony | |
Sconehenge | |
Sister Sludge | |
Slave to the Grind | |
Sovereign Grounds | |
State Grounds | |
SteamPunks | |
Sufficient Grounds | |
Supreme Bean | |
Swallow | |
Taste Budds | |
The Bean Counter | |
The Bean Gallery | |
The Central Roast | |
The Daily Grind | Waseca, MN | Cambridge, WI | Baltimore, MD | Pueblo, CO | Santa Barbara, CA |
|
The Donut Whole | |
The Human Bean | |
The Neutral Ground | |
The Sentient Bean | |
Uncommon Grounds | Minneapolis, MN | Saratoga Springs, NY | Indianola, IA |
|
Uranus Fudge Factory | |
Urban Grounds | |
What A Grind | |
Wit's End Coffee House | |